Thomas Heflin was born in Rosmarian, a tiny hamlet in southern Brittany, France. At the age of two, his father, a simple cobbler, realized he could not afford to feed his only son. Thomas was forced to join a traveling circus, where he was adopted by the famous family of acrobats, “The Amazing Bellinis” of the Cirque De Urbana. For the next five years, Thomas was trained by the Bellinis and became one of the most renowned acrobats in Europe.

However, at the age of 12, the Bellinis were killed in an elephant stampede and Thomas was sent to live with a relative in Brussels. There he discovered a love for the classics of literature, philosophy and art. By the age of 14, he had authored 12 novels and founded a new branch of philosophy known as post-post-modernism. He was sent to study art at the École des Beaux-Arts in Paris and soon was producing startling works of abstraction that are still regarded as the some of the greatest examples of visual art in the 20th century. His “morceau d'excrment sur une brique” (Piece of Excrement on a Brick) recently sold for $114 million dollars.

Thomas had soon exhausted all of the possibilities of art. Already a master of 30 languages, he decided move to the US to enroll at Cambridge and study particle physics with Stephen Hawking. By the age of 15, he had received three PhDs, surpassed his teachers and single-handedly discovered dark matter.

It is here that Thomas Heflin’s history becomes clouded in shadow. Legend has it, he created a device that allowed him to travel to another dimension where he now resides with an enlightened species of super-beings. Others say he faked his own death and disappeared to Nepal where he studied with a secret order of monks and learned the secrets of the ancient mystics. It is said he can burst a man’s heart simply by staring at him. Others claim he can levitate objects and climb walls like a spider. However, few who have seen him have lived to tell the tale.

To those who know his legend, Thomas Heflin is a god among men. He is a ghost, a shadow, an enigma. He lives forever in myth, in the dreams of children, and the nightmares of his enemies.

Also, Thomas Heflin plays the trumpet.